It’s been 8 days since my beautiful cat Coda died. I’m having a really down morning about it. I have had times where I feel fine and times where I just cry. It’s hard. I still cannot understand how things like that just happen.
I have been extra sensitive since her passing. It definitely doesn’t help when my husband points that out to me. Yes I know I look irrational. I can’t help it. I have already been working through postpartum depression since Lunabella’s birth. I have been feeling really great the last few months. Coda’s last day really caused my anxiety and some other feelings to resurface.
I’m out walking now and have been thinking a lot about her. She was such an amazing, loving cat. I’m hoping by writing about her I can release some of the sadness. I have been trying really hard to still be my “normal” self. Sometimes you just have to cry. I miss her. I feel bad I wasn’t able to give her as much attention as I had before Lunabella was born. During my pregnancy she never left my side. After I stopped working I basically never left the bed beside her. She gave me so much love.
Coda was incredibly loving and loyal to me. It seemed like she understood I was the one who took her from the spca. We had a bond that words cannot describe. I’m certain it’s because I took her from that sad place.
As I was petting her crying during her last minutes I had said I wished she would purr one last time. Right then she made little tiny squeaks and could feel the tiniest vibrations like a little purr. My poor girl 💔 I wish she didn’t have to go the way she did.
Losing her feels like I have lost a person. I love animals so much….it’s hard. Trying very hard to lift the sadness from my heart from this.