Missing My Kitty

imageIt’s been 8 days since my beautiful cat Coda died. I’m having a really down morning about it. I have had times where I feel fine and times where I just cry. It’s hard. I still cannot understand how things like that just happen.

I have been extra sensitive since her passing. It definitely doesn’t help when my husband points that out to me. Yes I know I look irrational. I can’t help it. I have already been working through postpartum depression since Lunabella’s birth. I have been feeling really great the last few months. Coda’s last day really caused my anxiety and some other feelings to resurface.

I’m out walking now and have been thinking a lot about her. She was such an amazing, loving cat. I’m hoping by writing about her I can release some of the sadness. I have been trying really hard to still be my “normal” self. Sometimes you just have to cry. I miss her. I feel bad I wasn’t able to give her as much attention as I had before Lunabella was born. During my pregnancy she never left my side. After I stopped working I basically never left the bed beside her. She gave me so much love.

Coda was incredibly loving and loyal to me. It seemed like she understood I was the one who took her from the spca. We had a bond that words cannot describe. I’m certain it’s because I took her from that sad place.

As I was petting her crying during her last minutes I had said I wished she would purr one last time. Right then she made little tiny squeaks and could feel the tiniest vibrations like a little purr. My poor girl πŸ’” I wish she didn’t have to go the way she did.

Losing her feels like I have lost a person. I love animals so much….it’s hard. Trying very hard to lift the sadness from my heart from this.

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3 thoughts on “Missing My Kitty

  1. Take all the time you need, you’re grieving. These little guys are a huge part of our lives just like children are. You’re feeling how you’re feeling and you need to go through that. Time heals, but you still won’t forget them. Sending you huge hugs and thanks for such an honest and heartfelt entry. If it makes you feel better, keep writing about her. Her memories.

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  2. I so know what you are feeling. I am sure some people thought my grief over Pup was excessive. But our bond was so strong, we shared our most joyous years, and both mourned when we had to leave the beach. I still cry from missing him five years later. She showed how much she loved you, giving you that last squeak and purr. She was so loving with Luna, too, so gentle. She was a beautiful girl.

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