It’s so crazy to think about time. It can feel so slow yet so fast.
For example, Lunabella is 21 months. The time has flown by so quick! I can remember her birth as if it was just yesterday and here she is now almost 2.
At the same time, I’ve been trying for a baby just as long and the TTC journey feels like forever.
I’ve been doing pretty good the past week. Thought was moving forward. I guess I am but there’s still road blocks.
I just got home from the park with Lunabella. She was having so much fun I felt so much love and joy playing with her. Yet at the same time my mind is asking “how long does sadness stay in your soul?”.
I have been trying so hard to be normal for work, for my family, for myself. And while I def have felt better I still feel so much sadness.
The world keeps moving forward but I’m stuck. I’m stuck in this spot where I don’t know where I stand anymore. I don’t know who I am or what my plan is. My wants and desires are there yet I’m numb. I don’t know how to make them happen.
Everyone tells me don’t worry you will have another baby. But- what if I don’t? How do I accept that? At what point does one just give up?
Off to try and get my toddler to nap. Wish me luck, ha.