Random Thoughts

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It’s so crazy to think about time. It can feel so slow yet so fast.

For example, Lunabella is 21 months. The time has flown by so quick! I can remember her birth as if it was just yesterday and here she is now almost 2.

At the same time, I’ve been trying for a baby just as long and the TTC journey feels like forever.

I’ve been doing pretty good the past week. Thought was moving forward. I guess I am but there’s still road blocks.

I just got home from the park with Lunabella. She was having so much fun I felt so much love and joy playing with her. Yet at the same time my mind is asking “how long does sadness stay in your soul?”.

I have been trying so hard to be normal for work, for my family, for myself. And while I def have felt better I still feel so much sadness.

The world keeps moving forward but I’m stuck. I’m stuck in this spot where I don’t know where I stand anymore. I don’t know who I am or what my plan is. My wants and desires are there yet I’m numb. I don’t know how to make them happen.

Everyone tells me don’t worry you will have another baby. But- what if I don’t? How do I accept that? At what point does one just give up?

Off to try and get my toddler to nap. Wish me luck, ha.

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