Dear Journey

Dear Journey, Before I got pregnant with you I went through a lot of suffering. It was the darkest time of my life. I had lost four pregnancies before I got pregnant with you just that year. On October 17, 2017 I had a d&c. I should’ve been 10 weeks pregnant but my baby had … More Dear Journey

Infertility Sucks

Being stuck with infertility blows. It is beyond frustrating that it’s not something that will just go away either. I seemed to convince myself it would just be okay after I had Journey. I don’t know why but it’s what I told myself. This is not something I would want to have or something I … More Infertility Sucks

Psalm 34:18

The LORD is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit. I feel this so deep within myself. I found myself in a very dark place as I was battling recurring miscarriage and infertility a couple years ago. Following Buddhist philosophy was no longer enough for me as I was suffering with a great … More Psalm 34:18

The inner ramblings of my mind surrounding loss and my rainbow.

    Having my rainbow baby after having four miscarriages consecutively has healed so much of my heart but has not erased the memories and pain. 2017 was the worst year of my life. I am such a trusting and loving person that each time I found out I was pregnant I still had hope … More The inner ramblings of my mind surrounding loss and my rainbow.

An Answered Prayer

  I’ve had 5 miscarriages. 4 in 2017. It was the worst time of my life. It’s what brought me back to God. For years before I had abandoned God and followed Buddhist philosophy. Turns out I only thought I turned my back on God, he was always there patiently waiting for me to return.  … More An Answered Prayer

Heartbreak & Loss

This won’t be raw food or vegan related. I haven’t felt motivated to write because pain has consumed me. I sit here waiting at the hospital lab to have my blood test confirm what I already know. I wonder if I somehow did something in my life to deserve this pain. I don’t understand. I’m … More Heartbreak & Loss